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One year in Sweden

It’s a year since we emigrated to Sweden. The milestone has taken me by surprise, and caused me to reflect on the last year: my attempts to learn Swedish, and my work towards setting up practice as an English-speaking therapist in Stockholm. I’ve missed working face to face with clients, I am thankful that I’ve …

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Success is something that most of us strive for at one time or another, whether it is work-related, to do with our relationships, or health-related – stopping smoking, cutting down alcohol or getting fit. Whatever it is, success is always related to change – it’s about something in our lives being different. It’s hard sometimes …

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do you love me

Do you love me?

The need behind your questions We ask questions all the time, especially of those close to us, but we rarely stop and think about the answers we’re hoping for. When you ask someone “Do you love me?”, are you satisfied with the answer you get? If not, it may be that there is actually something …

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The speed of change

The speed of change

How change happens Often when we decide we want things to change, we expect it to happen immediately. Hollywood feeds us stories in which change happens instantly – falling in love, finding the house of our dreams, setting up a new business – and so that’s what we expect: instant gratification. Many times in the …

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The little snail

The little snail

The little snail – a story about helping others As I was walking home today, into the sunshine that glowed a soft yellow at the end of my road, I noticed a tiny little snail crossing the pavement in front of me. His shell was coloured in pale yellow with black swirly stripes. I thought about …

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A cavern full of memories

A cavern full of memories

I wanted to share a personal story of grieving with you because sometimes a personal story says more than just thoughts or intellectual writings. Tuesday, 25 September 2012 – a cavern full of memories (a personal grief) I’ve just come home from the cemetery, which is a beautiful large place, full of trees and peace. …

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Change versus familiarity

Change versus familiarity

I saw a cartoon pinned to the noticeboard at the counselling service where I work and at first it just amused me. Then it struck me how true it is and how much we tend to cling to old behaviours that are safe and familiar – and then we’re surprised when things stay the same. …

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A person, in stemming their aggressive force (where aggressive is used in the broadest sense to mean the energy that stems from passion or feeling strongly that something needs to change), kills their own life energy. Aggression is a specific kind of energy, one of the most powerful, but in our society it is often …

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Vulnerability and shame

Vulnerability and shame

I just watched a video about one of the most wonderful things we have: connection with others. The speaker, Brene Brown, spoke about the main things that unravel connection, and the words she used were ‘shame and fear’. To my surprise, out of nowhere it seemed, on hearing the word ‘shame’ I burst into tears. …

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Beyond Pain

Beyond Pain

Giving hope versus delivering the fatal blow. “To him, a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune a tragedy, a joy an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover a God and failure is death.” * I read this quote and it caught at my heart. I couldn’t work out …

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