Living with more than one form of difference* often creates an experience that is felt long before it can be named or understood. Many people experience a persistent sense of being “out of sync” with the world, without being able to pinpoint the source of that feeling.
For those with mixed cultural backgrounds, neurodivergent traits, giftedness, or differences in gender, sexuality, or relational style, identity can feel complex and difficult to grasp. We may ask ourselves: is this about culture, family expectations, social norms, or the way my brain works? Usually, it is not one or the other, but all of these at once. As our understanding of neurodivergence deepens, we are now recognising that AuDHD is not simply autism and ADHD added together, but a distinct neurotype. In the same way, all intersecting differences do not simply accumulate, but interact, shaping a layered inner experience that is qualitatively different from any single aspect alone. This complexity can be especially hard to hold in systems that favour simple categories and clear explanations, such as schools, workplaces, or social environments.
In everyday life, this intersection often shows up as constant adjustment to fit in or translation of who we are. You may find yourself shifting between cultural contexts, communication styles, social expectations, and internal experiences, often without conscious awareness of how much effort this requires. Much of this labour is invisible, even to the person doing it, yet it can be deeply draining. Over time, the pressure to fit in, mask differences, or suppress needs can lead to chronic exhaustion, shame, self-doubt, or a fragmented sense of identity. Perhaps you have begun to mistrust your own perceptions, assuming the difficulty lies within you, rather than seeing how much adaptation you are already undertaking simply to function in the world.
In therapy, the work often begins by slowing down and making room for complexity, rather than trying to resolve it too quickly. Counselling can offer a space where different aspects of identity can be explored alongside one another, without needing to rank or prioritise which one “explains” you best. This process can be deeply validating, supporting a shift from “there is something wrong with me” to “there are many understandable reasons I experience life this way.” Over time, you are supported in developing language and narratives that finally make sense of lived experience, reconnect with needs that have gone unmet, and explore ways of living that feel more authentic, sustainable, and aligned with who you are.
In my work, I bring both professional training and lived experience. I am of mixed cultural background, gifted, and live with ADHD. I grew up within a neurodivergent family shaped by autism and ADHD, and I am now parenting neurodivergent children. My approach is relational and experiential, with careful attention to what is happening in the here-and-now, rather than seeking to fix. I offer a space where masking and simplification are not required, and where identity can be explored as dynamic, embodied, and contextual. Together, we attend to how patterns have formed, where tension is held, and how meaning has been shaped, in order to support greater self-trust, self-compassion, and an internal sense of belonging.
I currently offer therapy to clients, as well as supervision to therapists and other practitioners. If you are interested in working with me and would like an initial free chat, you are very welcome to get in touch to arrange a call.
*Difference as defined by the culture in which we live
